{"id":2,"date":"2003-04-15T17:12:34","date_gmt":"2003-04-15T21:12:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2"},"modified":"2003-04-15T17:12:34","modified_gmt":"2003-04-15T21:12:34","slug":"sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2","title":{"rendered":"Sex!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ok. Not really. This post has no sex in it, so now that I’ve got your click, I’ll move on.<\/p>\n

A black mood last night and the night before, black as pitch and just as sticky. I’m not sure how days like that begin, but I knew that my yapper needed to remain decidedly shut if I was to get through it without “saying something I would later regret.” Some sort of twenty-four hour pissiness. It started late on Sunday night and ended after a brief time in Kenosha spent teaching unappreciative high school geeks the fine art of stage combat.
\n
\nIt’s strange to me that once I was exactly like them, though with somewhat more respect for teachers and learning. I see myself now as just like them still, but I know that in whatever way I might humiliate myself in their presence, they will still consider me somehow more important than they consider themselves. And I do the same with my elders, a lot of the time. Confidence and experience hides things, I suppose.<\/p>\n

Reading about status in Impro<\/a> has really changed my perspective. Although I cannot, as the brilliant Mr. Johnstone claims to be able, interpret status changes as they occur, I can replay scenes as hindsight-skewed projections and see that the young stagehand attempting to embarrass me in my choice to affect a Spider-man t-shirt (at my age, really, I should know better) was, in reality, playing a status game and not consciously berating me as my sensitivity would believe. In fact, I can now recognize that my dismissal and explanatory joke was simply a skillful volley of the carelessly created lob of an insult. 15-love, you little prick.<\/p>\n

I digress. Perhaps I’m no better than said prick – stagehand, sorry – in that my black mood seemed to dissipate after the incident. Granted, those who claim me as friend would rebut that it was the fencing instruction that relieved whatever unnamed anxiety vexed me. Possibly, quite possibly, but I must entertain the notion that catharsis came from some less altruistic portion of my psyche. In short, I was glad that I didn’t look like a complete doofus.<\/p>\n

So, there’s that. Blog entry. I feel satisfied. They will likely get better as I do more of them. Just wanted to get that little bit of self-deprecation status changing out of the way early on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok. Not really. This post has no sex in it, so now that I’ve got your click, I’ll move on. A black mood last night and the night before, black as pitch and just as sticky. I’m not sure how days like that begin, but I knew that my yapper needed to remain decidedly shut […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s73iP8-sex","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":759,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=759","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":0},"title":"Rain, rage and racism.","date":"6\/13\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It rained last night. I haven't been able to properly enjoy these storms, knowing that they officially qualify as a disaster, rather than simply in the minds of those who don't appreciate precipitation. The effect has not been wonderful on my sinuses, either, so make sure you put that in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2934,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2934","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":1},"title":"A small victory","date":"8\/3\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I have renewed my focus on improving myself, despite the feeling that it is selfish. I'm only three days into this new outlook, to be objective, but I have worked out at a difficult level, meditated, journaled, and completed chores and other assigned tasks, even in the face of what\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=5","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":2},"title":"non-sequitir","date":"5\/2\/2003","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I accused my girlfriend last night of having absolutely no train of thought. Where her train should be, she has a technologically superior thought-transmission device which merely transports her active consciousness from one place in her expansive and alien brain to another instantaneously and without connection to its previous\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":343,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=343","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":3},"title":"Debbie Gibson never sang about this.","date":"7\/6\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"If a normal, red-blooded American male had a dream about superstar Hollywood sex symbol Angelina Jolie, what would you expect the outcome to be? I'm sure your imagination is far more lascivious than my dream last night. No, I toiled over some image retouching with the exotic movie star. As\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":756,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=756","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":4},"title":"And Iran… Iran’s so far away.","date":"6\/10\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night, I dreamed that my friend, the choreographer and dancer Garrett, was in Iraq and for some reason I had gone to visit him. He was being his usual congenial self as he showed me around the base, which was shelled continually while we toured. Then, as he was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":701,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=701","url_meta":{"origin":2,"position":5},"title":"This is my favorite Christmas song.","date":"12\/13\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Christmas Wrapping\" - The Waitresses -- \"Bah, humbug!\" No, that's too strong 'Cause it is my favorite holiday But all this year's been a busy blur Don't think I have the energy To add to my already mad rush Just 'cause it's 'tis the season. The perfect gift for me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}