a warm toilet seat… for about three seconds*.<\/p>\n
* – the approximate length of time before your brain starts wondernig “Why is this toilet seat warm?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
a warm toilet seat… for about three seconds*. * – the approximate length of time before your brain starts wondernig “Why is this toilet seat warm?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-3C","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3025,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=3025","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":0},"title":"Dream journal","date":"4\/18\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I have to relieve myself, so I knock on the door of my dad's house. He has finished a new remodel, with lofty ceilings and dark wood. The rustic quality of it all speaks to him and of him, but the restroom is occupied. I know there is another in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dream Journal"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=10","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":1},"title":"Big Ol Return","date":"8\/16\/2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Finally...The Buddha...has come back...to his blog. So much has happened and I have this long list of things I've wanted to put here. I'll start, however, anti-choronologically with a conversation my girlfriend and I recently had through the bathroom door. Buddha: (on the toilet, reading) Most-Honoured Girlfriend: (disdainful tone) Well,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":191,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=191","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":2},"title":"The revolution is coming.","date":"9\/16\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Czeltic Girl pointed me to the ultimate realization of my ennui in the workplace, for she is MIGHTY. I have made it my mantra, and thus I have made it my desktop. (link coming soon). Of particular note is Commandment 4, which is more telling than certain nameless shills at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1104,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=1104","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":3},"title":"I get it. I do. Do you?","date":"11\/11\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Look. I understand that the Health Care thing is divisive, moreso because we have a president that has the kind of love\/hate charisma that is attributed to the most influential leaders of history, including the incredibly evil ones. I understand the arguments on either side (personal responsibility vs. providing for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2777,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2777","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":4},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Simple","date":"12\/7\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A warm bed. My health. A remodeled basement full of luxury toys. I've always felt that giving thanks for these gifts of privilege and happenstance would be too trite to be mentioned. My personal honor values only those achievements I have worked for, and to call myself grateful for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3142,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=3142","url_meta":{"origin":224,"position":5},"title":"warmcold","date":"10\/30\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A keen glimmer of things to comeI feel my toes tingleanticipating the wet chill of snow-crusted shoesmelting in the hushed heat of my homeas I wrap my feet in warm woolmy life a pomander bulwark against gloom.White city dotted with bundled smilesEach little hermit crab letting in the light of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=224"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}