{"id":2795,"date":"2015-12-18T19:56:31","date_gmt":"2015-12-19T00:56:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2795"},"modified":"2015-12-18T19:56:31","modified_gmt":"2015-12-19T00:56:31","slug":"your-daily-digest-geek-the-geek","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2795","title":{"rendered":"Your Daily Digest: Geek the Geek"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think they should take away my geek card. I don’t give a shit about\u00c2\u00a0Hamilton<\/em> or the new\u00c2\u00a0Star Wars<\/em> except for their cultural significance (Oh my God! HowEVER did they make hip-hop relevant and accessible?). I don’t care about the new Fallout game or the new anything game for that matter. Even the games that made me rock hard in the past (Mass Effect<\/em>,\u00c2\u00a0Dragon Age<\/em>, etc.) have done almost nothing for me in the last few iterations, or by the “leaking” of information and footage from them.<\/p>\n

I don’t care about Trump or Sanders or Cruz or Clinton any more. I’m too tired. Trump is a distraction, Hillary is too egotistical to get in line behind the man who would be best for the country, and feminists don’t always see that what’s best is what’s best and maybe now is not the time for that particular fight. He’d be the first Jew, that’s real change. But I don’t argue.<\/p>\n

I’m supposed to be writing three things a day that i’m grateful for, but today, I’m only grateful that I don’t like guns and thus don’t have one, because tonight I would have ended my life. Possibly. I’m too much of a coward, in all likelihood. But any other method takes too much effort.<\/p>\n

Why? No reason except reason. Any reasonable person who’s attempting to remove ego would see the logic behind it. I’m miserable, I make other people miserable, I contribute\u00c2\u00a0nothing to the greater good… death is the obvious solution to an exceedingly simple problem.<\/p>\n

Instead, I canceled my plans to go out and shop (it’s the worst weekend to do so, and would only make me furious), somehwat forgave myself for not completing my daily missions on Habitica, ordered a pizza, and will watch an Adam Sandler movie. That’s right. While others are watching Star Wars or the Packer game, I will enjoy something I hate.<\/p>\n

What is to become of me? How does a person of intelligence and self-examination survive the pulling back of the veil? I’m not sure I will.<\/p>\n

All I see are people who love things, who at least express some excitement about their hobbies. I can barely get myself to leave the house unless there is some motive. Feeling useful, getting paid, or\u00c2\u00a0hidden titillation of some kind. I can’t enjoy social situations because of the pressures to be something bigger than myself. I can’t enjoy friends because I can see that they don’t enjoy my presence unless I’m “on.” If I had the larger goals of fame, renown, success… would it be easier to reconcile? At least then I’d have a reason to be “on,” a reason to go on.<\/p>\n

Right now, I’m being told to keep doing what feels good. Except not what actually feels good, because eating bad food is making it worse. Not having a job that makes any money is making it worse. Attempting to find connections in a world full of the false is make it feel worse. What is this hedonism that I’m supposed to find? What is fulfillment? I don’t even know what joy means, much less how to find it.<\/p>\n

Pizza has arrived. Back to escapism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think they should take away my geek card. I don’t give a shit about\u00c2\u00a0Hamilton or the new\u00c2\u00a0Star Wars except for their cultural significance (Oh my God! HowEVER did they make hip-hop relevant and accessible?). I don’t care about the new Fallout game or the new anything game for that matter. Even the games that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-J5","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":475,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=475","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":0},"title":"It’s true… it’s all true…","date":"1\/20\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Stay far away from this pastime if you know what's good for you. And remember always: Jesus Saves... and takes half damage. Dark Dungeons","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=40","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":1},"title":"sometime I might put a title here.","date":"1\/29\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been desperate to post this geek Venn diagram for some time. I forget where it's from, but whoever made it, thank you. Also, I think a simple WTF? suffices here.","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":177,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=177","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":2},"title":"Lego-chadnezzar.","date":"8\/20\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Gotta admire the follow-through. This is incredible, no matter what your geek level.","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":447,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=447","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":3},"title":"Geekcrash.","date":"12\/8\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Timmy Mac sent me this WoW video that sums up the geek way of life, while somehow bizarrely uplifting my Christmas Spirit. Enjoy.","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":421,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=421","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":4},"title":"And you thought I was odious about this.","date":"11\/10\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I might have to put this on my site, since I never re-coded my old Firefox lecture on here. This might be more effective anyway. After all, what's a blog without flame wars in the comments? On second thought, I'm not sure if this is entirely legal. Explorer Destroyer -\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":106,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=106","url_meta":{"origin":2795,"position":5},"title":"Simple name.","date":"4\/16\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone I know could probably use a little time with this card game, but Czelticgirl most of all. Be sure to check out the \"art.\"","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2795"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2795"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2796,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2795\/revisions\/2796"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}