She said \u00e2\u20ac\u201d to her, but I heard it \u00e2\u20ac\u201d “Some people would love to have to make that choice.”<\/p>\n
Deflections followed, the necessary defense. Who would want their problems diminished? We are our problems. I am, I know. <\/p>\n
They say you cannot prove a negative, but I am proof. I define myself by what I do not, say not, am not. Each day sears me with decisions that are not mine, but for which I am responsible.<\/p>\n
It’s fair.<\/p>\n
That’s life.<\/p>\n
Accept.<\/p>\n
Except…<\/p>\n
I burden myself with the dreams of others, hoping they will help in return, but I am not the red hen and they are always welcome at my table. The bread is gone, and I feel guilty I did not make more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
She said \u00e2\u20ac\u201d to her, but I heard it \u00e2\u20ac\u201d “Some people would love to have to make that choice.” Deflections followed, the necessary defense. Who would want their problems diminished? We are our problems. I am, I know. They say you cannot prove a negative, but I am proof. I define myself by what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-Kf","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2805,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2805","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":0},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Poets and lovers","date":"12\/29\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In May, I finally get to fight on stage in a major production at the Skylight. It's been a long time since I have been allowed to use these skills as an actor, rather than a teacher or fight director. I hope I can impress. My skills are not flashy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2790,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2790","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":1},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Habits","date":"12\/17\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I use a little tool \/ game called Habitica to keep all of my tasks and to encourage me away from my bad habits and towards better ones. I would endorse it highly, and recently I have enlisted my friend DC to play it, as well. If you're going to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2764,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2764","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":2},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Time Well Spent","date":"11\/25\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I took on the directing job for\u00c2\u00a0Bridge to Terabithia\u00c2\u00a0in Racine. The new knowledge and the\u00c2\u00a0possibilities have to outweigh my own brain. Fantasy, depression, guilt, family issues, escapism, music... that's a lot to delve into, YA fiction or no. If I feel too suburban about it all later, I can tell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2934,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2934","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":3},"title":"A small victory","date":"8\/3\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I have renewed my focus on improving myself, despite the feeling that it is selfish. I'm only three days into this new outlook, to be objective, but I have worked out at a difficult level, meditated, journaled, and completed chores and other assigned tasks, even in the face of what\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":759,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=759","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":4},"title":"Rain, rage and racism.","date":"6\/13\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It rained last night. I haven't been able to properly enjoy these storms, knowing that they officially qualify as a disaster, rather than simply in the minds of those who don't appreciate precipitation. The effect has not been wonderful on my sinuses, either, so make sure you put that in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":965,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=965","url_meta":{"origin":2867,"position":5},"title":"Pick a point and head for it. Turn only when necessary.","date":"3\/20\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"When I was young \u00e2\u20ac\u201d fourth grade is my best estimation \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we took a field trip to a nature preserve of some kind. I don't remember the bus ride, but I do remember that when I got there, it seemed to me we must have thousands of miles from\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2867"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2867"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2867\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2868,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2867\/revisions\/2868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2867"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2867"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2867"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}