Just before meditation this afternoon, I had a realization, as I so often do in quiet moments. Unfortunately, meditation was difficult today, and I found myself slipping into sleep more often than distraction. Dreaming is difficult in the noting process used to meditate, so I’m not sure I’ve gained much in that regard in the last couple of days.<\/p>\n
I wonder if I am able to capture these thoughts with voice memos. For a while, when I was at UW-Milwaukee, I would use voice memos on my phone to record great ideas, but like dream journals, I found them less useful when I finally got around to trying to re-envision the thoughts. In that case, maybe my epiphany this afternoon was not as ground-breaking as I thought it was in the moment.<\/p>\n
I would wager the Germans or the French have a word for that feeling. Something like deja vu in reverse. A strong feeling that eludes remembrance. A thought that has value only once.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Just before meditation this afternoon, I had a realization, as I so often do in quiet moments. Unfortunately, meditation was difficult today, and I found myself slipping into sleep more often than distraction. Dreaming is difficult in the noting process used to meditate, so I’m not sure I’ve gained much in that regard in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-Ko","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2771,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2771","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":0},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Trees","date":"11\/28\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 1. It was a simple enough task to remove the tree from the egress window in our basement. I jumped down in my old coat and my new shoes and pulled. The tree clung, roots covered in clay and gravel, and it took all of my strength and several\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2762,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2762","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":1},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Words and Loops","date":"11\/24\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Gratitude is not always easy. I had a brief discussion with Marcee about her position on marijuana. I am grateful that we were able to disagree without having a fight. I am too strident too often. Righteousness should be reserved for the right fights. We have friends and colleagues who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":643,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=643","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":2},"title":"In like Flynn.","date":"2\/27\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I missed a call at 7p.m. from the director. Then I missed her again at 9. Her voicemail was vague, simply asking for a call back. So I frantically dialed her, over and over, baffled at the busy signal which I have not heard in years. Finally, at 9:18, she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2934,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2934","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":3},"title":"A small victory","date":"8\/3\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I have renewed my focus on improving myself, despite the feeling that it is selfish. I'm only three days into this new outlook, to be objective, but I have worked out at a difficult level, meditated, journaled, and completed chores and other assigned tasks, even in the face of what\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2779,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2779","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":4},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Fun and how to have it","date":"12\/10\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday, I took the day off and played Dungeons of Dredmor all day while I meditated. Ironically, I neglected to actually meditate. I ate Taco Bell and ice cream, and binge-watched nearly all of\u00c2\u00a0It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which allowed me to try and figure out how I can allow\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":119,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=119","url_meta":{"origin":2876,"position":5},"title":"Just rain already…","date":"4\/29\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Lately, my mantra has been \"Just rain already\" on a number of different days. For one, I truly enjoy rain. Hard thunderstorming rain that feels like pebbles exploding on your shoulders. Plump, ponderous drops the size of softballs that drench you almost instantly. Mist that chaps your skin, but gives\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2877,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876\/revisions\/2877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}