We built a ship. I had little to do with it. Somehow even though I had little to do with it, I thought it\u00c2\u00a0was meant to send me away. It hasn’t done that.<\/p>\n
I search for a way to remain positive. I know I can make this effort. I want to be free of it, but I must make the next two weeks count first. Then… freedom from the ship becomes the freedom the ship was meant to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We built a ship. I had little to do with it. Somehow even though I had little to do with it, I thought it\u00c2\u00a0was meant to send me away. It hasn’t done that. I search for a way to remain positive. I know I can make this effort. I want to be free of it, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-Me","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2901,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2901","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":0},"title":"The Percival","date":"5\/25\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It was an indomitable ship, from the look of it. Big, strong timbers for masts and the bent-beams of the hull had such flexibility that the strain of their fibers bowing to the wave-cutting shape of the prow made them look defiant and unbeaten. In the water, it bobbed slower\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":368,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=368","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":1},"title":"Dream journal: The weird sci-fi thing.","date":"9\/27\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"At first, the young soldier is conversing with the captain of the large starship about what sort of things change a man, how witnessing horrible things can change your perspective, your life, your morality, etc. The ship is attacked and the captain and the young soldier deploy two fighters to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":639,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=639","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":2},"title":"What has science DONE?","date":"2\/6\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Sorry for the downtime to all those on the steelbuddha network. The mother ship has finally landed however in the form of a new host, complete with PHP5. Other sites will be reinstated as time permits. Lots more to say, but -- just this second -- no time to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2825,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2825","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":3},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Mood doom","date":"1\/28\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"From circumstance, I made a short appointment with the shrink yesterday and renewed my prescription for my SSRI. Is it irony that understanding how much the chemical imbalance in my brain affects my behavior somehow makes me less existential? That is, when I have my drug, which I know has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":361,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=361","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":4},"title":"Justice with a capital Ugh.","date":"7\/19\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"This post is VERY long. First I reprinted an email, ostensibly a transcript of the sentencing of the shoe-fire terrorist. Then I comment on it. Whether these are the judge's actual words or not, *someone* thought that they should inspire me. I go on to say, with as little snarking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":269,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=269","url_meta":{"origin":2990,"position":5},"title":"Irrationally appealing","date":"3\/3\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"For those of you who played the first Freedom Force and loved the cartoony feel and the classic Silver Age characters, Irrational Games put forth its own money making another episode guaranteed to thrill and chill. Other draws of this game include improved multiplayer, the feeling of joy that your\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2990"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2990"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2990\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2991,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2990\/revisions\/2991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}