{"id":308,"date":"2005-05-05T11:26:50","date_gmt":"2005-05-05T16:26:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=308"},"modified":"2005-05-05T16:51:17","modified_gmt":"2005-05-05T21:51:17","slug":"308","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=308","title":{"rendered":"I rock the mic like a vandal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As I walked to work, I saw bike couriers streaming through the traffic and construction like spawning salmon.  The bear-buses along the river of Wisconsin Avenue could not swat them from their horny little goal as they darted skillfully through the flashing orange rocks that created honking eddies and waves.  Let&#8217;s face it, the subconscious which makes my legs stalk their way across the pavement to my office is a creature of metaphor.<\/p>\n<p>At any rate, the brief glimpses into this stream-of-subconsiousness made me wonder if maybe I could be one of them.  It is dangerous, no doubt, doesn&#8217;t pay too well, and probably contributes to testicular cancer (ask Lance about that).  But, I&#8217;d get to work outside, get lots of exercise and actually feel like I get things done in a day.<\/p>\n<p>I get big ideas like this sometimes about being a bike courier, but then I always think of the different media influences I have. Kids in the Hall <a href=\"\" title=\"Hail to you, wretched bike courier! On streets of shame, choking on car exhaust, just trying to carve out that slice of the American dream with your two-wheeled knife! I pity you. And I crush you! Sorry, nothing personal, I'm apolitical!!\">bike courier<\/a> <a href=\"\"  title=\"He's a Bike courier working on two hours sleep\">jokes<\/a> [rollover those, links not included], that <a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/title\/tt0091814\/\">bike movie<\/a> with Kevin Bacon point to reasons why being a bike courier is stupid; <a href=\"http:\/\/us.movies1.yimg.com\/movies.yahoo.com\/images\/hv\/photo\/movie_pix\/fox\/dark_angel__season_1\/_group_photos\/jessica_alba12.jpg\">Dark Angel<\/a> makes it look cool, if the technology level of the world were to suddenly change.<\/p>\n<p>In the end I decided against it. at least for now.  But it did get me thinking that I&#8217;d like to see a documentary on the subject before I make my decision.  The closest I&#8217;ll probably get is some reality television series.  I don&#8217;t have cable, but has this already been done?  If not, expect it soon:<\/p>\n<p>World&#8217;s Most EXTREME Bike Couriers!  Sipping coffee while jumping a curb!  EXTREME!  Flipping off a driver while carrying important insurance forms!  EXTREME!  Rolling up one pant leg!  \u00dcBER X-TREME!<\/p>\n<p>I need to get this stuff out of my system.  It distracts me from my work.  In Marketing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As I walked to work, I saw bike couriers streaming through the traffic and construction like spawning salmon. The bear-buses along the river of Wisconsin Avenue could not swat them from their horny little goal as they darted skillfully through the flashing orange rocks that created honking eddies and waves. Let&#8217;s face it, the subconscious [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8,1,2],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s73iP8-308","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":756,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=756","url_meta":{"origin":308,"position":0},"title":"And Iran&#8230; Iran&#8217;s so far away.","date":"6\/10\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night, I dreamed that my friend, the choreographer and dancer Garrett, was in Iraq and for some reason I had gone to visit him. He was being his usual congenial self as he showed me around the base, which was shelled continually while we toured. Then, as he was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Ennui&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}