If a normal, red-blooded American male had a dream about superstar Hollywood sex symbol Angelina Jolie, what would you expect the outcome to be? I’m sure your imagination is far more lascivious than my dream last night.<\/p>\n
No, I toiled over some image retouching with the exotic movie star. As many men have, I have entertained the odd dream or two about the former Mrs. Thornton. As a committed man, these things are limited to my id’s dirty little sub-mind, Ms. Jolie’s attraction to knives during foreplay notwithstanding. It’s harmless subconscious fantasy, but instead of portraying a horny stewardess or something, she is instead performing banal duties in a menial work environment.<\/p>\n
Me: Angelina Jolie, would you make out with me?<\/p>\n
Angelina Jolie: In your dreams, pal.<\/p>\n
Me: No! In my dreams, you’re a photo intern at a crummy small town newspaper. What say we balance the equation, baby?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If a normal, red-blooded American male had a dream about superstar Hollywood sex symbol Angelina Jolie, what would you expect the outcome to be? I’m sure your imagination is far more lascivious than my dream last night. No, I toiled over some image retouching with the exotic movie star. As many men have, I have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-5x","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2883,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2883","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":0},"title":"Dream Journal","date":"5\/10\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I drove through the corn field to escape the stuntman. I had finally escaped the trap. It began on a rainy road, shining with streaks of colored light, reflections of signs and street lamps turning the slick pavement into a smeary chalk drawing. My charming new friend and I had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dream Journal"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2798,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2798","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":1},"title":"Your Daily Digest: Grating","date":"12\/23\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"My cousin Matthew is making a video\u00c2\u00a0for my grandmother for Christmas. The concept is that we each spend 30 seconds or so talking about what Christmas means to us. It's our first year without Grandpa, but I don't know how many of us want or need a reminder of that.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1031,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=1031","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":2},"title":"Dream Journal: a thousand t-shirts","date":"7\/2\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I am at a fight camp, fighting outside with pool noodles. Many of my fight friends from my most recent excursion are there. Soon, I find myself needing to use the restroom. I enter the building to find it a colossal, mansion-like structure. The bathroom is no different, where troughs\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dream Journal"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2645,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2645","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":3},"title":"On fear and comfort.","date":"3\/24\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Is it not monstrous that this player here, But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, Could force his soul so to his own conceit That from her working all his visage wanned, Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect, A broken voice, and his whole function suiting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":764,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=764","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":4},"title":"Homework.","date":"6\/19\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night was a good night for technology in my house. I put together the Hackintosh, which booted nicely and I set up the ol' BIOS. I still need to test whether Leopard will work on it, but if nothing else, I will have an uber powerful PC for gaming\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":307,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=307","url_meta":{"origin":343,"position":5},"title":"If you will it, it is no dream","date":"5\/4\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"In a dream this morning, pressed firmly between the ten-minute bookends of my snooze buttton, I was hearing auditions for a play I was directing. Although I felt that creatively this project would fall into my hands, the power definitely belonged to the person sitting to my left. Perhaps he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=343"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}