McSweeney’s<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The funniest joke ever: Napoleon, Gandhi, and Winston Churchill knock on the gates of heaven. St. Peter emerges, list in hand. He looks at each of them and clears his throat. “This is all merely a construct of the living, to mitigate their dread of the unknown. Excuse me. I’ve got a tape ofGilmore Girls […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-A","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":227,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=227","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":0},"title":"Making Gandhi look like a child pornographer","date":"11\/18\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"James Lipton's famous questions as answered by an overstressed wannabe Buddhist. 1. What is your favorite word? Sandwich. 2. What is your least favorite word? Management. 3. What turns you on? Smooth skin. Shiny hair. Lips that move like they're in some kind of 300 frame-per-second animation. Winks. Tattoos. Sly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":530,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=530","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":1},"title":"Dream journal : Fame is fickle, friends.","date":"3\/27\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Our scene opens with your hero and mine, Steelbuddha, sitting comfortably in his study. In this instance, study means a small room, just big enough for two people to sit, nestled among bookshelves and computers and cables. To Steelbuddha's left, a barely audible beep preludes the rattle of a vibrating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dream Journal"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2584,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2584","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":2},"title":"Endings","date":"1\/20\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"My grandfather died on January 20. 1. I heard from my mother that he was sick, refusing meds, home in bed. He was surrounded by people, professing to hate that. An old dog that wanted to die alone under the porch. I wanted to respect that, so I declined offers\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=5","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":3},"title":"non-sequitir","date":"5\/2\/2003","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I accused my girlfriend last night of having absolutely no train of thought. Where her train should be, she has a technologically superior thought-transmission device which merely transports her active consciousness from one place in her expansive and alien brain to another instantaneously and without connection to its previous\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2676,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2676","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":4},"title":"Hunter S. Thompson on floating and swimming","date":"6\/16\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"April 22, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City Dear Hume, You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":418,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=418","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":5},"title":"Caltrop*","date":"11\/8\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Caltrop: Time to cut all my ties Time to shed light on the lies Time to leave this town behind Freedom; it's not freedom Shouldn't freedom feel more liberating? Principles never make for happy days and it it pride or is it justice or just stupidity? Am I weak-willed or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}