this bit of knowledge<\/a> and prepare to eat crow, non-believer!<\/p>\nI wonder if I can claim that as a religious holiday.<\/p>\n
* – I don’t actually have kids. Don’t call Social Services on me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Remember those old middle school games where you would fantasize about what your life would be like? What city you would live in, what car you would drive, how many kids you would have, etc? Well, I’m not driving a tricked out Ford Aerostar with superhero-like accoutrements. I don’t have the two kids I thought […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-6V","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":217,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=217","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":0},"title":"For Jerry’s Kids, or just Jerry Lewis.","date":"10\/29\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Wheelchairs probably targeted toward kids, but still an unfortunate product name. Some wannabe South Park writer somewhere is thinking of their Chris Reeve joke right now, and failing to get that \"oh-ho\" mortified laughter they so want to produce. In the opinion of Czeltic Girl, \"TIMM-AY!\"","rel":"","context":"In "Link Larceny"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":67,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=67","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":1},"title":"“The actual figures vary depending on who’s doing the math.”","date":"3\/9\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"5 Telltale signs your kids are trying to kill you. Stolen without remorse from the inimitable Crash Davis, cased by Czelticgirl.","rel":"","context":"In "Link Larceny"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":83,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=83","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":2},"title":"Everywhere you go, there’s a dude on your ass, yo.","date":"3\/26\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I ripped this stuff off from other people, but baby, its the best I can do. I want the kids to have a Christmas. Stop making movies. We don't need anymore. You do not want to piss this woman off. I'm less afraid of a phone-wielding, shaven-head, drooling Bruce Willis\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Found Art"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":438,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=438","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":3},"title":"That’s cool.","date":"11\/29\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"The Hacker Manifesto by +++The Mentor+++ Written January 8, 1986 Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. \"Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal\", \"Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering\" Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":565,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=565","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":4},"title":"Girl, 11, will be Britain’s youngest mother","date":"5\/12\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Girl, 11, will be Britain's youngest mother | the Daily Mail The girl smokes 20 cigarettes a day despite being eight months' pregnant. She conceived aged 11 when she lost her virginity to a boy of 15 on a drunken night out with friends. A drunken night out with friends.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":200,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=200","url_meta":{"origin":429,"position":5},"title":"Once, long ago, I was Papa Smurf.","date":"10\/1\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Dress your kids like idiots and you can be certain they will someday be famous. 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