7:30 a.m.<\/p>\n
Me: Could you find me a pair of socks?<\/p>\n
She: *sigh* You have socks in a bag in the living room.<\/p>\n
Me: (playfully) You’re going to be in a bag in the living room.<\/p>\n
She: What does that mean?<\/p>\n
Me: I suppose it means I’m going to chop you up and put you in a sack in the living room. You know, for Santa.<\/p>\n
She: Ew. Seems like a lot of work. Couldn’t you just put me in a sack without all the chopping up?<\/p>\n
Me: Well, I don’t really have a bag that big.<\/p>\n
She: What were you going to use?<\/p>\n
Me: The bags under the sink, probably.<\/p>\n
She: The plastic grocery bags?<\/p>\n
Me: Yeah.<\/p>\n
She: Well, you’ll need to double-bag. I’m not that light.<\/p>\n
Me: Plus, all the blood.<\/p>\n
She: What are you going to chop me up with?<\/p>\n
Me: Mm… Hatchet?<\/p>\n
She: We don’t have one. You might need to borrow from someone. And while you’re there, you may as well just get a bigger sack.<\/p>\n
Me: Well, I don’t want to overplan this. Better stick with the original idea. I could just use jars and a kitchen knife, I suppose. The brain was going in a jar anyway.<\/p>\n
She: Why? So you could set up a grammaphone shell and I could speak to you?<\/p>\n
Me: If I were going to cut you up, what are the chances I’d want you to be able to speak to me afterward?<\/p>\n
She: Good point.<\/p>\n
Me: No, the brain is to power the new bunny robot.<\/p>\n
She: Because a bunny is the only thing cute enough to replace me?<\/p>\n
Me: Bunny robots are not cute.<\/p>\n
She: Depends how you build them. Mine would be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
7:30 a.m. Me: Could you find me a pair of socks? She: *sigh* You have socks in a bag in the living room. Me: (playfully) You’re going to be in a bag in the living room. She: What does that mean? Me: I suppose it means I’m going to chop you up and put you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-bg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":660,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=660","url_meta":{"origin":698,"position":0},"title":"Women, Where We Are Going","date":"6\/25\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I saw a performance of this in Chicago over the weekend. This monologue was particularly well done and made me think of some of the things Most-Honoured Girlfriend has intimated in moments of weakness that became moments of strength. Women, Where We Are Going from The Heidi Chronicles by Wendy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":617,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=617","url_meta":{"origin":698,"position":1},"title":"Dream Journal: Post-apocalypse film noir mystery","date":"12\/4\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"She didn't look like she was having much fun with the greasy, tallow-looking guy with the meandering hands, but she was trying her best to keep up the act. 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Having attended two similar workshops in the past, with varied degrees of success and pain, I will focus on some of the unique qualities of this one. Let me say\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":170,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=170","url_meta":{"origin":698,"position":5},"title":"I could have danced all night.","date":"7\/28\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"As MMORPGs go, City of Heroes is quite the accomplishment, drawing even players like me who said they would never play such a game. However, it now may be on the verge of yet another conquest: capturing the growing Sims market with the release of their latest expansion, Hero Dance\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "For the geek in you"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=698"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}