{"id":745,"date":"2008-04-21T10:14:27","date_gmt":"2008-04-21T15:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=745"},"modified":"2008-05-14T16:56:16","modified_gmt":"2008-05-14T21:56:16","slug":"i-would-so-audition-for-this-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=745","title":{"rendered":"I would so audition for this show."},"content":{"rendered":"

From this place<\/a>.<\/p>\n

J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
\nContinue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
\nAllow me then to offer a response.
\nDescribe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

J: What country dost thou hail from?<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
\nI know but naught of thy fair country What.
\nWhat language speak they in the land of What?
\n
\nB: What?<\/p>\n

J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?<\/p>\n

B: Aye!<\/p>\n

J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
\nDescribe to me Marsellus Wallace!<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

JULES presses his knife to BRETT’s throat<\/em><\/p>\n

J: Speak ‘What’ again! Thou cur, cry ‘What’ again!
\nI dare thee utter ‘What’ again but once!
\nI dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
\nNow, paint for me a portraiture in words,
\nIf thou hast any in thy head but ‘What’,
\nOf Marsellus Wallace!<\/p>\n

B: He is dark.<\/p>\n

J: Aye, and what more?<\/p>\n

B: His head is shaven bald.<\/p>\n

J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

JULES strikes and BRETT cries out<\/em><\/p>\n

J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?<\/p>\n

B: Nay!<\/p>\n

J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?<\/p>\n

B: I did not!<\/p>\n

J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
\nThou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
\nAnd sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
\nWith aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From this place. J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration? Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still. Allow me then to offer a response. Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray. B: What? J: What country dost thou hail from? B: What? J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What? I know but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-c1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2891,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=2891","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":0},"title":"Fight like me","date":"5\/16\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It's good to know that I'm good at what I do. I spent the evening with B&B's R&J, teaching a number of knife fights, and some unarmed. Plenty of good actors there, and lots to love in that group. I wish I could do more things like that, but really,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":306,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=306","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":1},"title":"It’s no fun to shop at the fat lady store…","date":"5\/3\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey, it's a random thought blog entry! Originality, thy name is me! I was thinking that instead of having SCUBA equipment and masks and whatnot, there should be a way to use the technology of the hydrolysis battery to power a device that would split the water into its component\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":111,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=111","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":2},"title":"When in drought, post links.","date":"4\/20\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"This smokescreen of funny will keep you reading long enough for me to be bitter again, I promise. The reel truth, from Wannabe Giant, who never posts anymore. Too cool to blog, B-rock? Does Chipotle frighten you? You are not alone. Go to the 16th of April and listen around.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Link Larceny"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":511,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=511","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":3},"title":"Beware B-Fest.","date":"2\/21\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Steelbuddha: I just thought of a funny conversation that someone could have. \"I'm having a Rhinestone day.\" \"What's that?\" \"It's a day where I would rather watch Rhinestone back to back for nine hours than actually work. Do you hear what I'm saying? I would rather watch Sylvester Stallone. Sing.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":357,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=357","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":4},"title":"B’s best birthday, EVAH!","date":"7\/21\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"On Sunday, MHG and I treated her younger brother to a birthday. Poor guy was Born on the Fourth of July and has to deal with Tom Cruise and Oliver Stone coming to visit him every year with diatribes on the way Vietnam War veterans were treated upon their return.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":491,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=491","url_meta":{"origin":745,"position":5},"title":"Milla wafer.","date":"2\/8\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Kurt Wimmer, the director who convinced me some time ago that Christian Bale would be the perfect Batman, has created another clean, smooth, Orwellian future. If you haven't already seen Equilibirum, make sure you remedy that. Don't let the reviews fool you though; it's not better than the original Matrix.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Link Larceny"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/745"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=745"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/745\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=745"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=745"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}