{"id":79,"date":"2004-03-18T11:46:22","date_gmt":"2004-03-18T15:46:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=79"},"modified":"2004-03-18T11:46:22","modified_gmt":"2004-03-18T15:46:22","slug":"halle-officially-barrys-her-second-comic-character","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"Halle officially Barry’s her second comic character"},"content":{"rendered":"

The new Catwoman movie<\/a> makes me wonder just what is up Hollywood’s butt. Catwoman<\/a>, the holy pillar<\/a> of sexy<\/a> superheroines<\/a>, now needs to bare her midriff and show some cleavage to pass the Hollywoody test? Jesus, have you seen Lee Meriweather<\/a>? That catsuit put a lot of men my age into instant puberty. Though I don’t know what the makeup artist’s obsession with spiking Julie Newmar’s eyebrows<\/a> was about.<\/p>\n

At least they didn’t skimp on the story<\/a>. “Let’s make her a hot zombie again, that worked for Tim Burton. And let’s make her a cosmetic saleswoman, because the living symbol for a strong woman oughta be not too bright and know how to make herself up for her man. <\/p>\n

Who can we get to play her? Well, Halle Barry tests well in geek audiences having played Storm and a Bond girl. Plus, she won an Oscar and showed her boobies in Swordfish! Not to mention we can get a free ethnicity boon! Perfect!”<\/p>\n

Despite the decidedly lame color-based names given to half of the characters, DC Comics are well-written and have some of the greatest characters in our modern mythos. Why can’t they take the Marvel route and follow the stories<\/a> they already have? Spiderman was practically word for word* for the first hour, and it worked perfectly, even for the fanboys.<\/p>\n

If my hopes for the new Batman movie are shattered by a steaming pile like Catwoman promises to be, I may have to swear off DC movies altogether. I’m sure they’re scared.<\/p>\n

* – replacing the original “Radioactive” buzzword with the updated “Genetically Engineered”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The new Catwoman movie makes me wonder just what is up Hollywood’s butt. Catwoman, the holy pillar of sexy superheroines, now needs to bare her midriff and show some cleavage to pass the Hollywoody test? Jesus, have you seen Lee Meriweather? That catsuit put a lot of men my age into instant puberty. Though I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-1h","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":125,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=125","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":0},"title":"People in medieval times were ugly.","date":"5\/5\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Not to be a punk, but I'm going to have to disagree with Keiko here and pan King Arthur straight away. I don't know every version of the legend, but I'm pretty sure none of them involved Guinevere's exposed midriff. Don't get me wrong, this is the most fortunate mistake\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":308,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=308","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":1},"title":"I rock the mic like a vandal","date":"5\/5\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"As I walked to work, I saw bike couriers streaming through the traffic and construction like spawning salmon. The bear-buses along the river of Wisconsin Avenue could not swat them from their horny little goal as they darted skillfully through the flashing orange rocks that created honking eddies and waves.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1047,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=1047","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":2},"title":"Understand your audience.","date":"8\/11\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"The Ballad of G.I. Joe starring: Olivia Wilde, Zach Galifianakis, Alexis Bledel, Billy Crudup, Julianne Moore, Chuck Liddell, Sgt Slaughter, Tony Hale, Henry Rollins, Alan Tudyk and Vinnie Jones I would be much more interested in this pillaging of my childhood movie if Hank Rollins and Julianne Moore were to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":423,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=423","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":3},"title":"The Prophecy.","date":"11\/14\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Fox cancels Arrested Development. David Cross knows why. [quicktime, 3.8 megs] Movie stolen from here. So does Peter Griffin. Peter: Everybody, I've got bad news. We've been cancelled. Lois: Oh no, Peter! How could they do that? Peter: Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=23","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":4},"title":"The rundown","date":"1\/14\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Typical conversations between me and some people I care about go like this (conversations with those I don't care about involve nearly zero interaction from me): A Friend: So, what do you guys think we should do tonight? Steelbuddha: (realizing that my crowd is not much for bars) I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":491,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=491","url_meta":{"origin":79,"position":5},"title":"Milla wafer.","date":"2\/8\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Kurt Wimmer, the director who convinced me some time ago that Christian Bale would be the perfect Batman, has created another clean, smooth, Orwellian future. If you haven't already seen Equilibirum, make sure you remedy that. Don't let the reviews fool you though; it's not better than the original Matrix.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Link Larceny"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/38"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}