When I was young \u00e2\u20ac\u201d fourth grade is my best estimation \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we took a field trip to a nature preserve of some kind. I don’t remember the bus ride, but I do remember that when I got there, it seemed to me we must have thousands of miles from anywhere. I thought I would be afraid, but instead I felt free. I was a latch-key kid, even then; I had grown accustomed to relying on myself. Granted, there were chaperones everywhere, but it felt a grand adventure.<\/p>\n
Ostensibly, we were there to learn about nature and grasslands and whatever else you teach a fourth grader but the part of the trip that stands out in my mind was the little game they had us play. If you don’t know me well, it may surprise you that I was an insufferable nerd right up until around my freshman year in high school. Straight A’s, loner reading in the corner, video games in the summer, doing math for fun, acne and too much body fat… the whole shot. I learned to read when I was three because I wanted to be smart more than anything. Not too much has changed, but I have learned to be social, at least.<\/p>\n
So, when the tour guide suggested a game where each student was going on a little treasure hunt, my ears perked up. We were given a map and a compass and told we were going to be “orienteering” to find our way to each step to the treasure. Needless to say, I was first to the treasure by about ten minutes, already looking for another challenge.<\/p>\n
And I felt good about myself. I felt like I had triumphed.<\/p>\n
No doubt much of this is washed in nostalgia and precocious childhood perspective, but I can’t say when I have since felt so strongly that the world was my oyster. That I had possibilities everywhere but driving direction.<\/p>\n
Later in my life, when I was an apathetic teenager, my father would try to teach me how to orienteer in the wilderness without compass or map, but I paid little attention. One lesson did stick, though. Find your direction, orient on the sun and then head that direction without swerving. I managed well enough to find the truck when deer hunting.<\/p>\n
I wonder here aloud (a-typed?) whether that sort of point-and-go attitude could get one through life. Worked for Teddy Roosevelt, right?<\/p>\n
I was not cast in Noises Off!<\/i> and now I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I had plans for very specific workshops this year, but I am second guessing in the afterglow of an unsuccessful audition. Not being cast was disappointing, of course, and there are other things where I might be a shoo-in. I think instead I will focus on personal growth outside of a show. Fitness, education, and simple meditation.<\/p>\n
But I’ll probably change my mind tomorrow. What can I say? For me, the horizon is a moving target.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I was young \u00e2\u20ac\u201d fourth grade is my best estimation \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we took a field trip to a nature preserve of some kind. I don’t remember the bus ride, but I do remember that when I got there, it seemed to me we must have thousands of miles from anywhere. I thought I would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p73iP8-fz","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=5","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":0},"title":"non-sequitir","date":"5\/2\/2003","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I accused my girlfriend last night of having absolutely no train of thought. Where her train should be, she has a technologically superior thought-transmission device which merely transports her active consciousness from one place in her expansive and alien brain to another instantaneously and without connection to its previous\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-service"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":112,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=112","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":1},"title":"The heart of rock and roll is still beating.","date":"4\/22\/2004","format":false,"excerpt":"More on this thread between Bjorn and the world of rock, somethingawful chimes in. Someone better do something about this soon, or my little brother's generation will never understand what the words \"new\" and \"music\" sound like together. UPDATE: Road trip to save music.","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":471,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=471","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":2},"title":"Where have I been? Where haven’t I?","date":"11\/14\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Fifteen years ago. I was just 15, starting along a path which is only now revealing itself to me. I don't remember what caught my attention exactly, I remember only the uncomfortable chair in the high school library, the doubt and insecurity and the strangers' eyes trying to discern my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Best of the Buddha"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":598,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=598","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":3},"title":"Riding in the backs of cars.","date":"10\/2\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"So, here are the salient details. Last week, I was booked. Booked, in this case, means that everyday I went to work and every night I had plans. Mondays and Wednesday nights I commute 40 minutes into Kenosha directly from work to teach stage combat to high school kids. Tuesday\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":372,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=372","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":4},"title":"Vacation, all I never wanted.","date":"8\/10\/2005","format":false,"excerpt":"My trip to New York State pretty much sucked, but MHG's got some photos up from the Fort up in the Adirondacks.","rel":"","context":"In "Ennui"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":813,"url":"http:\/\/www.steelbuddha.net\/?p=813","url_meta":{"origin":965,"position":5},"title":"Spidey and me.","date":"8\/20\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Comic Characters illustrate the alignment system from D&D. Man, I really need to get a mini-blog for these links. 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