I don’t have Twitter. I don’t think I need it. But everyone needs these succinct little beauties.

Twitter / 140story

All actors are full of bull. But, you want to make sure, if you are an actor, you have the right kind of bull: dependable, capable, reasonable, humble… and hirable.

Most-honoured Girlfriend has created a fairly comprehensive playlist of montage music from our favorite 80’s songs. Missing from my list is Would I Lie to You? by Eurhythmics for One Crazy Summer and an English Beat song from the running home scene of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Clare has them on her list, but could not share since she purchased them via iTunes.

My personal favorite is, of course, You’re the Best by Joe Esposito from the end of The Karate Kid. The lyrics I found online don’t do it justice apart from the awesome all-caps instrumental break:

Try to be best
‘Cause you’re only a man
And a man’s gotta learn to take it

Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it

History repeats itself
Try and you’ll succeed
Never doubt that you’re the one
And you can have your dreams!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
(repeat)

Fight ‘til the end
Cause your life will depend
On the strength that you have inside you

Ah you gotta be proud
starin’ out in the cloud
When the odds in the game defy you

Try your best to win them all
and one day time will tell
when you’re the one that’s standing there
you’ll reach the final bell!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
(repeat)

INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
(repeat)

Fight ‘til you drop
never stop
can’t give up
Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)
Listen to that sound
A little bit of all you got
Can never bring you down

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
(repeat)

29

Liquid helium, when supercooled, can create an ever-flowing fountain. If we could create a way to use excess energy to cool it, we could have a perpetual energy source. Other applications no doubt exist, as well, but my brain is still too limited in its scientific scope to envision them. My, but I do love science.

“Christmas Wrapping” – The Waitresses

—

“Bah, humbug!” No, that’s too strong
‘Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year’s been a busy blur
Don’t think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just ’cause it’s ’tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of ’81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would’ve been good to go for lunch,
Couldn’t agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we’d keep in touch.

Didn’t, of course, ’til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar’s just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight’s the night, but I’ve set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I’ll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I’ll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I’ll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I’ll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do’s
A few cards a few calls

‘Cause it’s r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It’s Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn’t go,

Forget it, it’s cold, it’s getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world’s smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I’ve been chasing all year!

“I’m spending this one alone,” he said.
“Need a break; this year’s been crazy.”
I said, “Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?”

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic’s brought this tale
To a very happy ending! ”

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn’t miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn’t miss this one this year!

Dear producers:

Gr. Argh.

That is all.

LAist: “Mutant Enemy Day” Photo Essay

7:30 a.m.

Me: Could you find me a pair of socks?

She: *sigh* You have socks in a bag in the living room.

Me: (playfully) You’re going to be in a bag in the living room.

She: What does that mean?

Me: I suppose it means I’m going to chop you up and put you in a sack in the living room. You know, for Santa.

She: Ew. Seems like a lot of work. Couldn’t you just put me in a sack without all the chopping up?

Me: Well, I don’t really have a bag that big.

She: What were you going to use?

Me: The bags under the sink, probably.

She: The plastic grocery bags?

Me: Yeah.

She: Well, you’ll need to double-bag. I’m not that light.

Me: Plus, all the blood.

She: What are you going to chop me up with?

Me: Mm… Hatchet?

She: We don’t have one. You might need to borrow from someone. And while you’re there, you may as well just get a bigger sack.

Me: Well, I don’t want to overplan this. Better stick with the original idea. I could just use jars and a kitchen knife, I suppose. The brain was going in a jar anyway.

She: Why? So you could set up a grammaphone shell and I could speak to you?

Me: If I were going to cut you up, what are the chances I’d want you to be able to speak to me afterward?

She: Good point.

Me: No, the brain is to power the new bunny robot.

She: Because a bunny is the only thing cute enough to replace me?

Me: Bunny robots are not cute.

She: Depends how you build them. Mine would be.

Because I did not have a girlfriend until I was 17, really. And video games lasted longer than sex anyway.

Old School Video Games that bitch-slapped my peers and me. Because back then they made video games to resemble life. They got harder and harder and faster and faster until you were dead. They did not train to be merciful. Mercy, as you know, is for the weak.