Fox cancels Arrested Development. David Cross knows why. [quicktime, 3.8 megs] Movie stolen from here.

So does Peter Griffin.

Peter: Everybody, I’ve got bad news. We’ve been cancelled.

Lois: Oh no, Peter! How could they do that?

Peter: Well unfortunately Lois, there’s just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80’s Show, Wonder Falls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girl’s Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg The Bunny.

Lois: Is there no hope?

Peter: Well, I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.

…and it is admittedly heavy on the “Republicans evil, Democrats good” nonsense. (John McCain is not bad. It follows that probably at least a few other Republicans in office who are not.) Still, it is funny and mostly true.

To paraphrase the ever-loving David Cross, I would never say that all Republicans are avaricious, intolerant, ignorant homophobes bent on creating a lower class of people that they can rule. Just the people that they elect into office… are.

Become Republican

Not Ready Yet – eels

There’s a world outside
And I know ’cause I’ve heard talk
In my sweetest dream
I would go out for a walk

But I don’t think I’m ready yet
I’m not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And I don’t need you telling me how

There’s some happiness
And my stone face cracks again
Maybe sometime sooner or later

But I don’t think I’m ready yet
I’m not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And I don’t need you telling me how

So if I leave my room
Don’t you tell me to lighten up
Maybe sometime sooner or later

But I don’t think I’m ready yet
I’m not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And I don’t need you telling me how

This is a conversation from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, one I’d like to have with some of my clients. I have no will to create, only to spew forth pre-manufactured genius from my Xerox machine of a brain.

Nick the Greek: What else does it come with?

Tom: It comes with a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it.

Nick the Greek: I thought it included the amp.

Tom: It doesn’t include the amp. It doesn’t include the speakers. And it’s not supposed to include me getting the hump with your questions. You want it, Nick, you buy it.

Nick the Greek: Dunno. Seems expensive.

Tom: Seems? Well, this seems to be a waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you’re lucky enough to find one in. And you’re haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from Nick? “It’s a deal, it’s a steal, it’s Sale of the fucking Century!” In fact, fuck it Nick. I think I’ll keep it!

Nick the Greek: Alright alright, keep your Alans on!

[Peels off notes from his wad]

Nick the Greek: Here’s a ton.

Tom, Eddie: Jesus Christ!

Eddie: You could choke a dozen donkeys on that! And you’re haggling over one hundred pound? What do you do when you’re not buying stereos Nick? Finance revolutions?

Nick the Greek: 100 pound is still 100 pound.

Tom: Not when the price is 200 pound it’s not. And certainly not when you’ve got Liberia’s deficit in your skyrocket. Tighter than a duck’s butt you are. Now, let me feel the fibre of your fabric.

(A vignette in media quotations.)

Let me e’splain… No. There is too much. Let me sum up:¹

My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it.² Now that’s a hard motherfucking fact of life.³

No, I’m pretty fucking far from “OK.”³ But when you can’t run anymore, you crawl. When you can’t do that, you find someone to carry you.⁴ You gotta have your true friends by your side.⁵

But no one seemed to understand. In his heart he knew the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due.⁶ And I need just a little more silence, and I just need a little more time, the courage to pull away. There will be hell to pay.⁷

But then, if we never _take_ time, how can we ever have time?⁸

(answers here)
(more…)

Guess who just made my list of dailies?

I have to say these two comics alone could be my life transcribed. Overidentification, you say? A pastiche of pop culture love/hate and pseudo-intellectualism mixed with elitist snarking and insubstantial dreariness indicative of the listless unrest of my generation, you say? You just proved my point.

Cat and Girl: Slap Fight

Cat and Girl: The Regular Crowd Shuffles In

This guy came before me and he actually works with steel: Jonathan Ward

This guy is new and possibly cashing in on the Steelbuddha flavah: LiveJournal User : Steelbuddha, but it looks like he moved from his Blogspot area under an assumed name.

Hello, other Steelbuddhas!

A televised benefit shows how *affected* Kanye West is by the disasters in Katrina’s wake, but not how *effective* he is as a spokesperson for the plight. Still, Kanye’s obviously heart-felt rambling[.wmv, 4MB] is more easily identified with than Mike Myers’ comparatively wooden, going-through-the-motions cue card reading. Hell, even Chris Tucker looked speechless for a second.

Sorry for those of you who had to set your cookie to get in lately. I’m playing CYA with the number of high school students who might get here accidentally while trying to find the info for the fencing program. You’d think they’d teach subdomains and directories in high school, but I guess not. If you have issues, just comment and I’ll see what I can do to help you out.

More likely that you simply won’t come in anymore, but hey! at least I tried.

Project Management: a profession centered around appeasing clients through overpromising, then sitting back and occasionally asking the team the vague question, “How are we doing?” through various communication channels.

I swear I’d get in on that if I didn’t have to wear a tie and be in on time. The punctual fashion-conscious ones among us are compensated out of proportion to those whose shoulders bear the brunt of the yoke, with their heads on the block and their noses to the grindstone.