You may need to ask yourself at this point, in what way is the writer of this blog similar to one Hugh Jackman? The comparison is not easy at first. But when you consider that both men are 6′ 2 1/2″, are actors, have deep baritone voices and will soon have both portrayed Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) and Billy Bigelow (Carousel) on the stage… well, those may seem coincidental, but I put forth that I be proclaimed Hugh the Lesser. At least until I make People’s 50 Most Beautiful list.

1. Define the question
Can it be proven, via scientific method, that I am awesome?

2. Gather information and resources (observe)
This intensely stressful weekend contained much empirical data that would point to me being awesome.

3. Form hypothesis
I am awesome.

4. Perform experiment and collect data
Test the first: Audition with South Milwaukee PAC.
Test the second: SAFD Quarterstaff Skills Proficiency Test, choreographed by Chuck Coyl, adjudicated by Dale Girard.
Test the third: Audition with Lakeland Players, Ltd.

5. Analyze data
Results of first test: Offered lead role upon completion.
Results of second test: Passed with partner, 7/8 weapons now recognized proficient.
Results of third test: Callback, positive feedback from directors and from others in audition, encouraging talk of possible lead role.

6. Interpret data and draw conclusions that serve as a starting point for new hypothesis
The first test gives positive empirical evidence of awesomeness due to increased name recognition in local community, as well as experience in lead role. Special thanks to co-researcher, J. Green.

The second test presents more positive results, due to success in test and in strengthened friendships and connections within SAFD. Special thank to co-researcher, S. J. Anderson.

Though the results of the third test are still in the lab, preliminary reports point to success, though the level of that success cannot be currently reported with accuracy. However, delivery of certain materials produced responses ranging from highly satisfactory to exemplary.

7. Publish results
Published in journal, Buddha’s Bellyaching, March 2008 edition.
Reference in shared resource, Facebook.

8. Retest (frequently done by other scientists)
So, I put it to you: Am I awesome? (Please note that any negative response may result in crushed ego, tears, tantrums, and verbose and tedious affirmation dialogue. You have been warned.)

Non-sequitir title aside, my company rules. At our awesome party this weekend, we were each given an iPod Touch. We were also given the option of trading it in for in-store credit. Therefore, I am proud to present:

Me with my new iPhone. Total cost? $130 if you include the new data plan and the screen protector.

Yeah, bitches.

I was tagged by the inimitable UniversalHead himself, and when such a man as he makes request, you make good or forever be known as a lesser being. So, here are my eight most unusual qualities that I can remember at this moment. I will attempt to avoid things laready discussed in my 100 things post from a while ago.

The Rules:

• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves
• People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog

1. I love to get beat up, provided the pain is dull and does not lead to dehabilitating injury. This has brought me to stunts, martial arts and stage combat and away from professional wrestling, boxing and sports. I lose my stage fights when I can and I particularly enjoy being thrown around. I still worry about falling off high things, though, as a small mistake at that height can result in some terrible things.
2. Like my web-friend, UniversalHead, I have played drums in a band for a number of years. My friend Bjorn and I started playing together in early college, and I had played a little in high school in an ill-fated band. I have some technical skills owing to my girlfriend’s extensive skills in percussion, but mostly I play by feel. Recently, both of our girlfriends have begun to play with us, filling out the sounds considerably and freeing me up for more vocals. We switch instruments a lot between us, but I’m only really capable on the drums or the mic. Bjorn is a man of infinite talents and plays everything with equal alacrity and ability.
3. I have two webbed toes on each of my feet, specifically those that correspond to the forefinger and middle finger of the hand. I inherited this from my biological father whose name was Church, a Welsh name. I only mention this because I dated a woman for a short while in college who had the same exact “condition.” She said that one of her parents was Welsh and that it was tracked to in-breeding in Welsh royalty. So… I might be in line behind a few thousand people to inherit the throne, I guess.
4. Together with my girlfriend, I have a zeal for Steampunk and Victorian pseudoscience. Someday, I would like to have a home where all the modern conveniences are masked in that sort of decor. Unfortunately, another part of me prefers spartan, utilitarian home design, so I am not sure how to satisfy them both simultaneously.
5. No matter how full I am, no matter how disciplined about my nutrition, I do not think I have ever refused ice cream. I have to avoid it entirely or eat it begrudgingly.
6. I am staggeringly poorly traveled. I have never left the U.S. and have only visited a few places outside of the midwest. I hope to change that, probably this year. If nothing else, I need to see New York and see if it enchants me the way it does many of my friends.
7. I value intelligence and education, but have never graduated from college. And while I need acting training, a formal education in theater seems a bit frivolous to me. I would like to instead finish my Bachelors in literature or even chemistry and then pursue theater as my career. And I sometimes fret over my discovering this at age 30, rather than 20.
8. Years ago, some friends and I read from a giant astrology book which had every birthdate in it. Mine read like most of these things do, vague enough to be accurate, allowing you to fill in the blanks. One word stuck out at the time as completely wrong and we all commented that happy-go-lucky 20-year-old Chris may be moody but never jaded. Well, that has certainly changed.

There you have it. If you were bored by this, I am sure that the people I’m tagging (Czeltic Girl, BB, OnePlusInfinity, Raggedy Android, K-Co, Brian, Linus, and Sherri) will resuscitate your faith in the blogosphere, such as it is. No pressure, guys.

As I head off this week to intern at the nation’s largest stage combat workshop, I watch this with glee and dread. Plus, it seems to focus on some sort of autistic savant of the martial, which tweaks me in the right places. My sister has a genetic condition similar to autism that I’ve considered writing into fantasy short stories. Nothing new under the sun.

I did this mainly as an affirmation and a resolution for the upcoming year. I think it’s a good exercise to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and address them with specifics. I have noted that my self-confidence wanes fairly often, and that can cause me to doubt whether I have the chops or the chutzpah to really pursue this. I am betting my life – somewhat literally – that my determination and passion will win over my low self-esteem.

10 assets for my acting career
—
1. I am tall and muscular, with a large chest and shoulders, assets for leads and stage fighters.
2. I have a love of words, lending ease to memorization and comprehension of dialogue.
3. I am flexible and agile, considerably moreso than the average person my size.
4. I have a strong, deep, and mutable voice; I am a skilled mimic, who takes to accents/quirks quickly.
5. I have above-average musical ability in percussion and vocals, which is an asset for musical theater.
6. I have remarkable endurance for low-impact work, including physical comedy and stage combat.
7. I have over a decade of experience writing, instructing and directing a small high school production.
8. I have a well-developed sense of humor and timing.
9. I have a strong work ethic.
10. I have an expressive, reasonably handsome face and can grow a full beard.

10 areas for improvement as an actor
—
1. Through a more stringent fitness regimen, I would improve my movement skills further.
2. Through a more stringent fitness regimen, I would be castable in more varied roles, including lead roles.
3. With voice training, my inflection would be better at maximum projection.
4. With voice/music training, my singing would earn me more prestigious roles in musicals.
5. With formal voice training, I would have credentials and skills to break into voice acting.
6. With character/mask training, I would be more convincing in more roles.
7. With character/mask training, I would move beyond the simple rote of acting into the true craft.
8. With more formal education, I could assist a teacher at the college level.
9. With a stronger grooming regimen, I would feel more confident, specifically when auditioning for lead roles.
10. With impulse/movement training, my reactions would be more realistic, improving the quality of my craft.

Fifteen years ago.

I was just 15, starting along a path which is only now revealing itself to me. I don’t remember what caught my attention exactly, I remember only the uncomfortable chair in the high school library, the doubt and insecurity and the strangers’ eyes trying to discern my purpose for sitting there.
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Our scene opens with your hero and mine, Steelbuddha, sitting comfortably in his study. In this instance, study means a small room, just big enough for two people to sit, nestled among bookshelves and computers and cables. To Steelbuddha’s left, a barely audible beep preludes the rattle of a vibrating cell phone on a pressboard desk.

He picks up. “Hello.”

“Hey Chris. It’s Brad Bird.”

“Hey Brad, how are you?” Steelbuddha greets his friend warmly. This call is unexpected, but not without precedent, as our hero and the creator of The Incredibles have been friends for some time.
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I did it. For the 29th year in a row, I managed not to die. A new record! (For me.)

In truth, it wasn’t as maudlin as all that, but those who know me know of my abhorrence for events. My growing older is not something to be celebrated so much as noted. Still, for all my cynicism, this weekend was memorable and carefree. I was made to feel that even if my birthday matters not a whit to me, it matters to those close to me, and that is perhaps the point.
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Sorry, folks. I am just not up to blogging proper this week. For those of you who are internet voyeurs or simply friends who like to keep up on my shit by reading this, here is a short list of what is going on in my head:

• I feel cursed when it comes to finances, particularly in regards to cars. I was really starting to surface from the check-by-check thing. Hell.
• I decided to go to my reunion after all. I am hoping to find some closure with two people in particular, maybe see a few old friendly faces (possibly for the last time) and try desperately not to feel inadequate. I only get one ten-year high school reunion and if I do not like it, I will not go to any others.
• Despite going back to Tae Kwon Do and working diligently toward my goals of becoming stage combat proficient and acting and teaching and black belt-ing, I have been feeling increasingly insignificant, untalented, and useless. No, I do not want to be cheered up; I want to succeed at something and have my friends and family actually give a damn. That is what I want.
• I have started wearing a black rubber bracelet that says “Corporate Whore” as a silent protest to having to play the part of the satisfied employee at work. While my manager is doing all in his power to help me, I still feel lower class at this place and that simply should not be.

Play the part. Wait it out. Time will tell.

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