Part I: Out of curiosity, I went to Clear Channel’s website to look at their policies on radio decency. Clicking on the first link I saw on the subject, the clearly marked “Radio: Broadcast Decency” PDF link on the home page, I immediately downloaded their PDF on rules and regulations for their radio stations.

Part II: Mac OS X sometimes applies strange icons to downloads that it doesn’t immediately recognize. I had just recently installed Return to Castle Wolfenstein for some faux – WWII action at work.

Results of this (perhaps-preordained) chain of events? A PDF about Clear Channel’s decency requirements with a wonderfully fascist icon alighted on my desktop. Oh RAPTURE.

Imagine you have bitten your cheek once or twice during the day and now have a painless but everpresent little piece of skin occasionally brushing against your teeth and tongue. All day.

Then imagine, that like me, you cannot stand its being there and for the better part of your day you contort your face trying to wedge the piece between your canines and snip it cleanly, leaving your mouth free from distraction.

Now imagine if you believed that this method was the best way to solve every problem you’ve ever had.

I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s like to be a dog.

YES. YES. YES.

Alanis Morrissette wrote me a song.

“I Think”

I Think cars are really a huge problem
I Think pedestrians are too much on my mind
I Think lights have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Langston Hughes line, which won’t let go of my brain
Like Amber’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic

I Think horns are gonna drive us all crazy
And brakes make me feel like a child
I Think fingers will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Langston Hughes line, which won’t let go of my brain
Like Amber’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like Amber’s smile, cruel and cold
Like Langston Hughes’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic

A wonderful little ditty brought to you by the number Czelticgirl and the letter Steelbuddha.

CG: Wow. I got e-mail from Moses telling me he called and asking why I didn’t call back.
SB: See? The jews are right.
CG: Then he tried to sell me porn. Bad Moses.
SB: God wants you to have porn!
SB: Ask Jimmy Swaggart.
CG: Yeah, but it’s bad webcam porn.
CG: God would want better for me.

Co-worker: “Hey! Remember when troll dolls were cool?”

Me: “No.”

Dong said all this better.

The “liberal” media just won’t this Reagan thing go; enough with glorifying past leaders, Great Communicators or otherwise. Back to glorifying the War on Terror, you Bush-whipped hippies.

Has there ever been a more compelling argument that the media is the mouthpiece for the government when you see Reagan touted as one of the greatest Presidents ever? They’re even considering replacing Jackson on the twenty. As I told MHG and my houseguest the other day, Bush Sr. has had no less than four terms in office now and the Reagan craze is only more proof.

“Remember Reagan, America? He was considered by many to be senile and was no less a puppet than our current President, only with notably better public speaking skills. Ah, the good ol’ days of trickle-down economics.”

I’m waiting for Point Break to be taken off of TBS’s rotation due to Patrick Swayze’s defamation of one of our greatest leaders.

If you were a popular erotic artist, say Sorayama for argument’s sake, when you were finished with a piece, would you use it for autoeroticism? If the answer is yes, are you then vain? If the answer is no, did you fail in creating a work of erotic art?

For the record, most Sorayama stuff is not to my taste, but I couldn’t think of another name off the top of my head.

The world’s first real supervillain* explodes onto the scene. In true villain fashion, he planted a corpse at the crime scene to throw off the scent. Probably his henchman inside anyway.

(pulls off glasses) Oh dear God. (opens buttoned shirt revealing symbol of superheroliness) Buddha of Steel, AWAY!

Also, if you’ve read Syrup by Maxx Barry, then Lionel Goldstein in this article about DDR might remind you of Six, Scat, @, and good ol’ Sneaky Pete.

* other than Bush and his cabinet.

My rent is $895 a month. I pay this premium for my “luxury” apartment in Northern Milwaukee. Although I realize that for the space and the amenities, the price is quite reasonable by, say, East Coast standards, for my low-rent sensibilities, it would seem that I pay this perceptually exorbitant amount for certain considerations. One of these considerations is central air conditioning.

Now, I am fully aware that central air is far from a necessity. I have lived without it for most of my life. I am also aware that I am currently a “tenant at will” according to the law and therefore am subject to some degree of ignorance on the part of my landlords, only compounded by my tendency to pay my rent late. But, isn’t my central air part of the rent?

Considering also the fact that Most-Honoured Girlfriend and I have just looked at a lovely apartment closer to everything we might want that lacks *only* central air conditioning and I was apprehensive despite it being $250 less a month and its location *downtown* simply because I so value that amenity. I may not be an ideal tenant, but I’m far from horrible. I want my central air, and if I do not get it…well, I was probably moving out anyway.

My point, after all this railing, is this: In light of my tardiness with the rent payments and my current unsigned lease status, am I in danger of eviction if I complain about the A/C breaking for the second June in a row? Comments welcomed.

You should absorb Jello Biafra’s words before you vote. When you vote, at least be informed.

He’d probably be pissed that I, the web geek, recommended buying his stuff from Amazon.