Someone said to me, about Jenna Jameson, “She’s really smart!” The tone of voice used was one of incredulity, of surprise. And while I’m still too much of a social pussy to have snapped back with a witty comment, my brain did stammer a bit at the clear obliviousness of that statement.

Laying aside the attempt to legitimize a forbidden love of the porn star (wholly unnecessary), this is among the most ignorant things anyone has ever said. While there are far worse prejudices in the world, I have to laugh when I hear people assuming that anyone in the entertainment industry possesses certain qualities or lacks certain others. A star is not more worldly or more classy or more politically aware than another person merely by their accumulation of fame. What comes with that kind of fame is money and easier access to vice.

A porn star who has made herself into an international celebrity is probably at least mildly smart. Is it still likely, according to psychology, that she had a certain upbringing or background? Yes, it’s likely. But that background doesn’t necessarily squash intelligence. In fact, if she had to deal with a sexual predator or abuser of some kind, she must have developed extraordinary survival and coping skills, which can translate into a canny business sense rather easily. Is it more shocking that one porn star is savvy, or that so many are not?

Related to this problem of prejudice is another that irks me. Perhaps it is just my friends, or the way that I am perceived by my friends, but I’ve noted a certain reluctance toward taking my opinion over others. For example, just recently a few friends of mine, whom I have known for years, have started using an online voice chat system while playing City of Heroes. They seem somewhat enamoured of it and no doubt are reveling in the techie joys that come with such a system. I had suggested that we use a similar device over a year ago. In fact, I promoted a few different options, invested in a headset and researched different software. Despite this, it was no doubt one of their faceless online “friends” that got them to convert.

For reasons unknown, my opinion, though reserved for the occasions when I truly believe that it will hold interest to my friends, is considered sort of…well, worthless, if my self-doubt isn’t dramatizing the situation. Yet, the opinion of someone who could very well be a completely uneducated, pompous and immature 10-year-old is far more valuable. Someone who would not make the sacrifices I have already made and would make again in the name of friendship.

I’ve found the same dubious situation recurring in my life amongst these friends. Even subjects on which I have developed a refined taste over many years are considered the exclusive realm of people whom they hardly know. The most obvious example is that of role-playing games. Over the last 16 years, I’ve played my share of games, attended conventions, won awards, written articles and been published and certainly become a veteran. More importantly, I have not let my hobby dominate my life. I am still a socially well-adjusted and in fact, desirable personality.

Yet. Time and time again, my opinion is placed beneath those of the “higher-ups” at a convention like GenCon, my judgment of character laid aside in favor of those persons’ placement in the ranks of geekery. And with one exception, those have proven to be the rantings of fanatical gamers and not well-formed opinions after all.

Do I give up? I have, before. Then, some brilliant thing comes along. I can’t help but introduce these friends to it. And ten months later, when someone else, someone who they do not know but has more time to dedicate to these hobbies since they leave other important life pursuits behind, mentions it with similar fervor, then…only then is it finally appreciated. And the credit goes to the nameless person who they won’t even remember next year.

Call me an elitist or a glory-hound. I suppose I share at least some of those qualities with the worst types of people. But, to me it seems a matter of trust and a matter of respect. They do not trust me. They do not respect me. And that is a hard place to be. Certainly harder than it should be among friends.